People assume that because I talk about sex on the internet for a living, it must come naturally to me. That there's no hesitation, no second-guessing, no moment where I hover over the publish button and think, "Is this too much?" But the truth is, it still feels vulnerable every single time. And I think that's worth talking about, because if it's hard for me, I can only imagine how hard it is for most people who've never had a space where these conversations were encouraged.

Talking about sex is hard. It's hard with your partner, hard with your friends, hard with a therapist, and yes, hard with a camera pointing at you. And the reasons go much deeper than awkwardness or embarrassment.

Where the Discomfort Comes From

Most of us grew up in environments where sex was either never discussed or discussed in ways that were loaded with shame, fear, or rigid moral framing. Maybe your parents avoided the topic entirely. Maybe the only "sex talk" you got was a warning about consequences. Maybe you learned early on that sexual curiosity was something to hide, and that asking questions about your own body or desires was inappropriate.

Those early messages don't just go away when you become an adult. They become the baseline for how you relate to the topic. Even if you logically know that sex is natural and healthy, there's often a deeper, emotional layer that still flinches at openness. That flinch is learned, and it can be unlearned — but it takes conscious effort and, honestly, a lot of practice.

The shame most people feel around sex isn't something they were born with. It was taught to them. And anything that was taught can eventually be untaught.

Why It Still Gets to Me

I won't pretend I'm above it all. There are topics I've covered that made me genuinely nervous to share. Times when I recorded a video and then spent hours debating whether to upload it. The fear isn't really about what strangers on the internet will think — although that's part of it. The deeper fear is about vulnerability. When I share my experiences, my preferences, my mistakes, I'm handing people pieces of myself that can be judged, mocked, or dismissed.

And that's the same fear that stops most people from talking to their own partners about what they want in bed. It's not that they don't know what they want. It's that saying it out loud means being seen in a way that feels exposed. What if they think it's weird? What if they say no? What if this changes how they see me?

Those fears are real. They're valid. But they're also the very things that keep us stuck in unsatisfying patterns. The only way through them is through them.

Small Steps That Actually Help

If talking about sex feels impossible right now, start small. You don't have to sit your partner down for a big serious conversation about your deepest fantasies on day one. Try these approaches instead:

The point isn't to have a perfect conversation. It's to start having the conversation at all. Every time you push through the discomfort, it gets a tiny bit easier. And over time, those small moments of honesty build a foundation of trust that transforms your entire intimate life.

You're Not Alone in This

If you feel awkward talking about sex, congratulations — you're a human being who grew up in a society that made this topic unnecessarily difficult to discuss. That's not a personal failing. It's a cultural one. And the fact that you're reading this, that you're even thinking about having more open conversations, means you're already further along than you think.

I made this video because I wanted to be honest about my own experience with this struggle. Not just as a sex educator, but as a person who has to push through the same discomfort that everyone else feels. I hope it helps you feel a little less alone in the process.

Watch the full video below — I get really personal in this one, and I'd love to hear your thoughts.