One of the questions I get asked most frequently is: "Where do we even start?" Couples who want to improve their sex life often feel overwhelmed by the sheer amount of information, products, and advice out there. So I'm going to make it simple. Here are my top three resources that I genuinely believe can transform a couple's intimate life — no matter where you're starting from.
These aren't random picks. These are things I've personally used, recommended to others, and seen real results from. Consider this your spicy couple starter pack.
Resource 1: A Good Conversation Card Game
This might sound surprisingly low-tech, but hear me out. One of the biggest barriers to a better sex life is communication, and one of the biggest barriers to communication is not knowing where to start. That's where a well-designed conversation card game comes in.
There are several great options on the market specifically designed for couples who want to explore intimacy topics. The format is simple: you pull a card, read a question or prompt, and both of you answer honestly. The questions range from lighthearted and fun to deeply intimate and revealing. Things like "What's a fantasy you've never shared with me?" or "What's something I do in bed that you wish I'd do more of?"
The magic is in the structure. Having a card in your hand removes the pressure of bringing up a topic yourself. It creates a safe, almost playful container for conversations that might otherwise feel too scary to initiate. And the things you discover about each other can be genuinely surprising, even if you've been together for years.
Resource 2: Ethical, Educational Content
I'm talking about genuinely educational content about sex — not the kind you find on mainstream adult sites. There's been an explosion of high-quality sexual education content created by therapists, educators, and real couples. This includes instructional videos, online courses, workshops, and platforms that are designed to teach rather than just entertain.
What makes these resources so valuable is that they normalize the learning process. Nobody expects to be great at cooking without ever reading a recipe. Nobody expects to be a skilled musician without ever taking a lesson. But somehow, we're all supposed to magically be amazing at sex without any instruction? That's absurd.
Watching educational content together as a couple can also serve as a form of foreplay. It opens up conversation, sparks ideas, and gives you a shared vocabulary for talking about what you want. Some things to look for:
- Content created by certified professionals — sex therapists, educators, or coaches with real credentials
- Inclusive representation — diverse bodies, orientations, and experience levels
- Focus on communication and connection — not just positions and techniques
- Ethical production — performers who are treated with respect and compensated fairly
Resource 3: A Couple-Friendly Toy
Introducing a sex toy into your relationship can feel like a big step, but it doesn't have to be intimidating. There are tons of products now designed specifically for use during partnered sex — things like wearable vibrators, couples' rings, and app-controlled toys that both partners can enjoy.
The key is choosing something that enhances the experience for both of you rather than replacing it. A well-chosen toy adds a new dimension to what you're already doing together. It's not about inadequacy — it's about variety, exploration, and giving each other new kinds of pleasure.
If you've never introduced a toy before, start with something simple and non-intimidating. A small vibrator that can be used during foreplay or intercourse is a great entry point. Shop together, talk about what looks interesting, and approach it as a shared adventure rather than one person's idea.
The Common Thread
If you look at all three of these resources, there's a common thread: they all require doing something together. Better sex isn't something one person can create alone. It's a collaborative effort that requires both partners to show up with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to try something new.
The couples who have the best sex lives aren't the ones with the most experience or the most adventurous kinks. They're the ones who keep investing in their connection, who keep talking, and who keep showing up for each other with genuine enthusiasm. These resources are just tools to help you do that.
Get the Full Breakdown
In the video, I share specific product names, where to find them, and more detailed thoughts on how to integrate each resource into your relationship. If you and your partner are ready to level up, give it a watch together — that's actually the best way to use this content.
