Relationship Red Flags Identifier

Relationship Assessment

Answer the following questions honestly based on your current or most recent relationship. Your answers are completely private and only saved to your local device.

Understanding Relationship Red Flags

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Dynamics

Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of mutual respect, trust, and open communication. You should feel safe to be yourself, express your needs, and say "no" without fear of retaliation.

Unhealthy dynamics often start subtly. They may look like "intense love" or "protectiveness" early on, but eventually reveal themselves as control, manipulation, and disrespect for your boundaries.

The Cycle of Abuse & Trauma Bonding

Why is it so hard to leave? Abusive relationships rarely consist of constant cruelty. They often follow a cycle:

• Tension Building: Walking on eggshells, minor incidents of anger or control.
• Incident: A major abusive event (emotional, verbal, physical, or sexual).
• Reconciliation/Honeymoon: Apologies, gifts, promises that it will never happen again, shifting blame.
• Calm: A period of relative peace, which reinforces the "trauma bond"—a deep psychological attachment created by the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment.

Safety Planning & Protecting Yourself

If you recognize that you are in an unsafe situation, leaving can be the most dangerous time. A safety plan is a personalized, practical plan to improve your safety while experiencing abuse, preparing to leave, or after you leave.

• Keep your phone charged and accessible at all times.
• Memorize important phone numbers of trusted friends and local shelters.
• Gather important documents (ID, passport, financial records) and keep them in a safe place or with a trusted friend.
• Avoid arguing in spaces with potential weapons (like the kitchen) or rooms without access to an outside door.

Your Legal Rights

Depending on your location, you may have legal options for protection, such as restraining orders or orders of protection. Local domestic violence advocates can help you navigate the legal system for free.