Squirting is one of those topics that generates a ton of curiosity and an equal amount of misinformation. A lot of people want to know how to "make" a woman squirt, and the internet is full of tutorials and tips that treat it like a magic trick — as if there's one secret technique that works for everyone. But the reality is more nuanced than that, and if you're approaching squirting with the wrong mindset, you're probably getting in your own way.
I want to talk about this honestly, because I think the way squirting gets discussed often does more harm than good. It creates pressure, it sets up unrealistic expectations, and it turns something that should be about pleasure into a performance. So let's break it down properly.
First, Let's Talk About What Squirting Actually Is
Squirting — sometimes called female ejaculation — involves the release of fluid during sexual arousal or orgasm. There's been a lot of scientific debate about what this fluid is and where it comes from. Research suggests it's likely related to the Skene's glands, sometimes called the female prostate, which are located near the urethra. The fluid itself is different from urine, although it may contain some similar components.
Here's an important thing to understand: not everyone squirts, and that's completely normal. Some people squirt easily, some can learn to with practice, and others may never experience it regardless of technique. None of these outcomes says anything about a person's sexual health or responsiveness. Squirting is one expression of pleasure among many, and it's not inherently better or more valid than any other.
The Technique Matters Less Than You Think
I know the title of this post mentions technique, and I will get to that. But honestly, the most important factor isn't what you do with your hands. It's the environment you create. Squirting requires a level of relaxation and surrender that's almost impossible to achieve when someone feels pressured, watched, or like they need to perform.
If your partner feels like they're on a timer, or like you'll be disappointed if it doesn't happen, their body is going to tense up. And tension is the opposite of what's needed here. The pelvic floor muscles need to relax, not clench. So before you even think about technique, focus on creating an atmosphere of zero pressure, genuine connection, and patience.
What the Right Approach Looks Like
When it comes to the physical side of things, G-spot stimulation is typically the pathway most associated with squirting. The G-spot is located on the front wall of the vaginal canal, about two to three inches in. It has a slightly different texture than the surrounding tissue — often described as ridged or spongy.
The motion that tends to work best is a "come hither" curl of the fingers, applying firm but not aggressive pressure to the front wall. Speed and pressure should build gradually based on your partner's response. Communication is essential here — what feels good for one person might not work for another, and real-time feedback is the best guide you'll ever have.
Some additional things that can help:
- Extended foreplay — the more aroused someone is before you begin, the more engorged the G-spot becomes, making it easier to locate and stimulate
- Clitoral stimulation — combining internal and external stimulation can intensify the experience significantly
- Relaxation of the pelvic floor — encourage your partner to push out or bear down slightly rather than clenching, especially as the sensation builds
- Towels and comfort — removing the worry about making a mess can help someone relax and let go
Why Mindset Is Everything
I cannot overemphasize this: if squirting becomes a goal or a measure of success, it undermines the entire experience. The people who squirt most easily tend to be the ones who aren't trying to. They're simply present in the moment, enjoying what their body is feeling, without any attachment to a specific outcome.
This applies to both partners. If you're the one giving, your job is to be attentive, responsive, and genuinely focused on your partner's pleasure — not on "achieving" squirting. If you're the one receiving, your job is to breathe, stay present, and give yourself permission to let your body do whatever it wants to do, without judgment.
Some people describe the sensation just before squirting as similar to the feeling of needing to urinate. This causes many people to tense up and hold back. If your partner mentions this, reassure them. That sensation is a sign that things are working, not that something is wrong. Letting go in that moment is often what allows squirting to happen.
It's About Pleasure, Not Performance
At the end of the day, the best sex isn't about checking boxes or achieving specific outcomes. It's about connection, pleasure, and being fully present with another person. Squirting can be a beautiful part of that experience, but it's not the only part, and it's certainly not required for great sex.
If you're curious to learn more about the specific techniques I discuss, check out the full video. I go into much more detail there, and I think you'll find it helpful whether squirting is something you've experienced before or something you're exploring for the first time.
