A Complete Guide to Sexual Positions for Beginners
Exploring comfort, connection, and pleasure with 15 beginner-friendly positions
Hey there, friends! Let's talk about finding what feels good.
If you're reading this, chances are you're curious about exploring new ways to connect with a partner physically. That is wonderful! Sometimes, stepping outside of what we already know can feel a bit daunting. We see wild, acrobatic positions in media and might think, "Is that what I'm supposed to be doing?"
Let me tell you a little secret: the "best" sexual positions aren't the ones that look the most complicated. They're the ones where you and your partner feel relaxed, connected, and most importantly, where you're both experiencing pleasure comfortably. Whether you're exploring penetrative sex (with a penis, strap-on, or toys) or outercourse, starting with a solid foundation makes all the difference.
In this guide, we're keeping things simple, inclusive, and grounded in real-world bodies. We're going to walk through 15 beginner-friendly positions, categorized by how you're situated. But before we get to the fun part, let's talk about the absolute most important step: preparation and communication.
Before You Begin: Preparation & Communication
Great sex doesn't start when clothes come off; it starts with how we communicate with each other.
The Golden Rule: Continuous Consent
Consent isn't just a one-time "yes" at the start of an encounter. It's an ongoing, active conversation. If you want to try a new position, just ask! Something as simple as, "Hey, I'd love to try [position name], how does that sound to you?" is perfect. And remember, "Let's go back to what we were doing before" is always a valid and wonderful sentence to use if a new position isn't quite hitting the spot.
Safety & Comfort First
- Lube is your best friend: Seriously. Have it nearby. Trying new angles can change how friction feels, and having a good quality lubricant on hand makes everything smoother and safer.
- Use props: Pillows aren't just for sleeping! Wedge them under hips, knees, or lower backs to reduce strain and adjust angles effortlessly.
- Check in often: When shifting into a new position, ask, "How does this feel?" or "Is this angle okay for you?"
Category 1: Face-to-Face (Missionary Variations)
Missionary gets a bad rap for being "boring," but it's actually an incredible foundation. Being face-to-face allows for deep emotional connection, kissing, and easy communication.
1. The Classic Missionary
How to do it: One partner lies flat on their back, legs slightly spread. The other partner rests on top, supporting their weight with their arms or elbows.
Why it's great: Maximum intimacy and eye contact. It's easy to control depth and pace.
Comfort tip: The top partner should be mindful of not putting their full body weight on the bottom partner. Bottom partner, if you feel squished, gently push up or ask your partner to hold more of their own weight.
2. The Pillow Prop (Elevated Missionary)
How to do it: Same as the classic, but the receiving partner places a firm pillow (or two) under their pelvis/lower back.
Why it's great: This slight tilt completely changes the angle of penetration, often allowing for deeper stimulation and making it easier for the penetrating partner to thrust without leaning too far down.
3. Legs on Shoulders
How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their back and rests their legs on the penetrating partner's shoulders.
Why it's great: This allows for very deep penetration and gives the penetrating partner a lot of leverage.
Comfort tip: This requires some flexibility from the receiving partner. If it feels too stretchy, bend the knees more or rest legs on the hips instead of the shoulders.
4. The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
How to do it: Start in missionary. The penetrating partner slides their body "up" further toward the receiving partner's head. The goal is to align the base of the penis/strap-on directly against the clitoris, creating a rocking motion rather than an in-and-out thrusting motion.
Why it's great: It's specifically designed to maximize clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex.
Category 2: Partner on Top
These positions are fantastic for giving the receiving partner total control over depth, speed, and angle. They also free up the hands of the partner lying down to assist with stimulation.
5. Classic Cowgirl / Partner on Top
How to do it: The penetrating partner lies flat on their back. The receiving partner straddles them, facing forward, knees resting on the bed/surface.
Why it's great: The person on top controls the narrative! It's also visually very stimulating for the bottom partner.
Comfort tip: If the top partner's knees hurt, put a soft blanket underneath them. The top partner can also lean forward onto the bottom partner's chest if they get tired of sitting fully upright.
6. Reverse Cowgirl
How to do it: Similar to the classic, but the person on top faces away from their partner, looking toward their feet.
Why it's great: Provides a different angle of internal stimulation (often hitting the anterior vaginal wall/G-spot area) and allows the top partner to lean back on their partner's legs for support.
Safety note: The top partner should be careful not to lean back too aggressively, as this can put uncomfortable pressure on the penetrating partner. Keep movements grounded.
7. The Squat
How to do it: Instead of resting on their knees, the top partner places their feet flat on the bed and squats over the penetrating partner.
Why it's great: Offers incredible control and often allows for deeper penetration. Plus, it's a great workout for the thighs!
Comfort tip: This can be tiring. The bottom partner can help support the top partner's hips to take some weight off their legs.
8. The Lotus
How to do it: The penetrating partner sits cross-legged (or with legs outstretched). The receiving partner sits on their lap, wrapping their legs around the penetrating partner's waist.
Why it's great: Extremely intimate, face-to-face, and encourages a slower, more grinding motion rather than vigorous thrusting.
Category 3: Side-Lying & Spooning
Feeling a little tired? Side-lying positions are the ultimate "lazy Sunday morning" choices. They are cozy, require very little physical exertion, and are wonderfully intimate.
9. Classic Spooning
How to do it: Both partners lie on their sides facing the same direction. The penetrating partner is behind the receiving partner.
Why it's great: It's relaxing, puts very little strain on either body, and leaves hands free for caressing or manual stimulation.
10. Scissoring (Tribadism)
How to do it: Both partners lie on their sides facing each other, intertwining their legs so their vulvas (or thighs/genitals) press together.
Why it's great: Excellent for direct, mutual external stimulation and allows for passionate kissing.
11. Face-to-Face Side Lying
How to do it: Both partners lie on their sides facing each other. One partner lifts their top leg and drapes it over the other's hip to allow for penetration or manual play.
Why it's great: You get the relaxation of spooning but the eye contact and kissing access of missionary.
12. The Lazy Y
How to do it: Start in spooning. The receiving partner rolls their upper body slightly forward onto their stomach, while keeping their hips angled back toward their partner.
Why it's great: It adjusts the angle of entry slightly, which can feel amazing, while still keeping things low-effort.
Category 4: Rear Entry Variations
These positions often allow for deeper penetration and a different dynamic of touch.
13. Classic Doggy Style
How to do it: The receiving partner is on their hands and knees. The penetrating partner kneels behind them.
Why it's great: Allows for very deep penetration and access to areas like the G-spot or A-spot.
Comfort tip: If wrists hurt, the receiving partner can rest on their forearms instead. If knees hurt, put a pillow underneath.
14. Prone Bone (Flat on Stomach)
How to do it: The receiving partner lies completely flat on their stomach with legs straight or slightly parted. The penetrating partner lies on top.
Why it's great: Creates a tighter sensation due to the angle of the hips and legs being pressed together.
Comfort tip: Placing a pillow under the receiving partner's hips can make entry easier and more comfortable.
15. Edge of the Bed
How to do it: The receiving partner lies on their back with their hips right at the edge of the mattress, legs dangling off or resting on their partner's hips. The penetrating partner stands or kneels on the floor.
Why it's great: The standing partner has a lot of leverage and freedom of movement, and neither partner has to support the other's body weight.
Troubleshooting & Progressing
What if it hurts?
Stop. Immediately. Sex should not hurt. If a position is uncomfortable, communicate clearly ("Ouch," "Stop," or "That angle doesn't feel right"). Try adjusting the angle with pillows, adding more lubricant, or simply switching to a different position. If pain persists across multiple encounters, it's worth having a chat with a healthcare provider.
What if we lose the rhythm?
It happens! Changing positions can be awkward. You might bump heads, a knee might give out, or you might just lose the groove. Laugh it off. Laughter is an incredible aphrodisiac and relieves tension. Just take a breath, find a comfortable resting spot (like spooning), and reconnect before starting again.
Ready for more?
Once you feel comfortable with these basics, you can start combining them or playing with pacing. Try starting in one position and seamlessly transitioning to another as arousal builds. Remember, there's no rush to become a bedroom gymnast. The best progression is simply learning exactly what your unique body (and your partner's body) enjoys most.
Remember, exploration should be fun. Stay safe, communicate openly, and enjoy the journey of discovering what feels amazing for you!